"Jesus said, 'Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.'" Mark 5:19 NKJV
Time to wait.
In Tennessee birth moms have ten days to change their mind about their adoption plan. Friday, August 1st is that tenth day. After talking to our agency worker, our lawyer and N herself, we really have no fear that she is going to change her mind. She has had her plan in place from the very beginning and seems quite sure about our family and our future together.
That leaves ICPC. Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children. In a nut shell it assures that states are working together to make sure that children are going into a safe, healthy environment. No child trafficking between states.
We were told that ICPC clearance can take from 7-10 calendar days. I have heard of situations where it has been as quick as two and as long as thirty.
Here's the deal.
With the lawyer changes and the paperwork snafu in the hospital, our paperwork got ... lost in the shuffle so to speak. Miscommunication between the lawyers in Tennessee and Idaho has not helped. I found out on July 31st, that maybe our paperwork was submitted to the proper offices.
Maybe.
Two weeks after Ethan was born.
When it, theoretically, could have been submitted on Monday the 21st. 10 days ago.
But alas, this did not happen.
God is working. It is His timing and His timing is perfect.
I will step back to the beginning of this week and fill in the details about how we have been waiting.
On Tuesday morning (the 22nd) I called two separate pediatricians to try to get a weight check for little Ethan. Weight gain is our main focus right now. One turned me away cold because Ethan would not be a continuing patient and one set up an appointment for 1:00. But then we got a call to be at the court house by 12:30 for the TPR - Termination of Parental Rights - hearing at the Williamson County courthouse in downtown Nashville.
We wrote down the directions (MayQuest has really been there for us this trip, no GPS for us...) and headed into town. After missing one turn and getting to take a drive by tour of the Tennessee Titans stadium we found where we needed to be and parked in a nearby parking garage.
When we crossed the street we were surprised to see N sitting on a bench in the shade. This is a brave and stoic woman who did not ever want to see us again. And here she was, in our presence, for a third time. She jumped up and gave me a quick hug before we all went into the building together. On the way in she said to me, "I finally got a good night's sleep last night knowing that that baby was with his family and not alone in the hospital!" When going through security she did manage to slip ahead and get to the elevator quickly. Which was a good thing because the women manning the security booth proceeded to swoon over our beautiful, teeny bundle. I can't imagine what that would have been like for her hurting heart.
Up to the 6th floor we went. Julia was going over the termination paper work with N. We tucked ourselves into a side hallway that overlooked part of downtown. That way we weren't in plan sight of N as she signed her rights away. My heart ached as I listened to Julia cover all of the questions and explain every last line of that contract. Watching our sleeping son with joy and love in our hearts and listening to the termination of her mama rights is a dichotomy of emotions that I cannot even begin to explain or express. I think that unless you go through the same thing, (which most adoptive parents do), you can never know that exact feeling.
Time crawled. My back started to hurt. There was no where to sit but on the floor. I didn't want to go into the main hall because I did not want to force N to look at us or our son. The lawyer came and we signed papers. Then she came back and said there were some mistakes and the paperwork had to be reprinted and re-signed.
The 1:00 court time came and went.
2:00.
2:30.
Finally N was able to go in with the judge with Julia by her side.
Then it was our turn.
We took Ethan in in our arms and sat before the judge.
He was very nice and friendly. As are most people in the South we have discovered. He was making small talk and asked us where we are from. When we responded with Lewiston, Idaho he exclaimed, "My former secretary was from Clarkston, Washington! She and her husband lived here for awhile and have since moved back to Clarkston!" The world grew a little bit smaller.
The time with the judge only took a few minutes. I asked if we would be able to get a picture with him. He agreed and led us into his courtroom so it would look a bit more official. His assistant took our picture and we were officially one step closer to legally being Ethan's true parents.
We then had to wait for certified copies of ... whatever document that was. We have signed so many papers the last couple of weeks I am starting to lose track. Everything goes into the big manilla envelope that I brought and stays safe.
Finally, four hours after we arrived we were ready to go. N slipped out without saying goodbye. I think after two exits with the words, "Well, I'm never going to see you again", she didn't want to take any chances. I am okay with that. She is making a great sacrifice and needs to process it in her own way.
The rest of the week was fairly low key. We paid visits to both Ben's and Gail's offices. Ben is the CFO of World Christian Broadcasting and we got to tour their world headquarters located in good old Franklin, Tennessee. Ethan got to have his first picture with Santa Claus!
Gail is CEO of High Hopes, a non-profit inclusive preschool and pediatric therapy clinic. We got to tour their new building that they moved into in January and meet some of their fabulous staff. That we were matched with these loving, generous Christians is a miracle straight from God.
Friday morning we were able to get into the pediatrician that originally turned us down. Gail knows him and was able to contact him directly to get us this one appointment. Connections matter!
A little background on our miracle baby. In initial paperwork that N filled out she put her estimated due date as August 1st. She had an ultra sound on July 9th where they changed her estimated due date to August 20th. Through my three pregnancies I have learned that an ultrasound at 8-10 weeks is the most accurate indication of due date. And that anything over 20 weeks cannot be trusted. With the agency paperwork Ethan was supposedly five weeks early. Born at 35 weeks. His birth weight, 4 lbs. 11 oz. would support that hypothesis. But if you were to see this baby, that can only be wrong.
For starters, after he was born he did not even have to go into the NICU at all. They had him in a transitional NICU area on the delivery room floor because he was having problems self regulating body temperature and because he was supposedly five. weeks. early. From all of the reading I have done, babies born pre-term, and especially boys, usually have lung issues. Severe, undeveloped lungs that require NICU stays and a variety of interventions.
Ethan had none of that.
He was just a little cold.
Which my 7 lb. 11 oz. son Russell had problems with also. At three pounds bigger!
Friday morning Ethan was weighed and tipped the scales at 4 lbs. 15 oz.! An ounce of weight gain a day. Exactly where he was supposed to be. The doctor came in and did a full baby check up. After poking, prodding, listening, measuring, pulling, pushing, and holding he looked at us and declared, "This is NOT pre-term baby! He is just a little guy!"
Looking at our time frame of the two weeks leading up to this day, I can only see God.
See God in our finding out about the situation on the 10th.
The day after her ultrasound.
See God in our match on the 16th.
The day before his birth.
See God in his birth on the 17th. Our 10-year wedding anniversary.
(In June, as we were wading into situation #2 I said to Bob, "How would you like to be celebrating our 10-year anniversary welcoming a son into our family?" Little did we know...)
See God in every. single. step. of this incredible journey.
Writing out our story has been priceless for me this week. Because now I am waiting for another miracle that can only happen by God's hand. Clearance of our ICPC by Friday the 1st so that I can head to Montana to see my parents, my brother and other friends and family that we only get to see once at year, at the very most. And see my three other babies from whom I've been away from for two solid weeks now. If I do not get clearance by the end of business Friday that means that I won't get clearance until at least Monday the 4th. Besides wanting to see everyone I would much rather fly into Bozeman as it would mean only one stop in Salt Lake City and cost about half as much as flying into Lewiston.
So I wait.
I look at all of the miracles that God has provided.
Spend uninterrupted time with my newest son.
Share God's amazing provisions with anyone who is willing to read about them.
Rest in the fact the God's timing is perfect.
My devotional verse today:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
My next post won't be until we are reunited with our entire family and we have a full picture of:
The Wicks Six!
In Tennessee birth moms have ten days to change their mind about their adoption plan. Friday, August 1st is that tenth day. After talking to our agency worker, our lawyer and N herself, we really have no fear that she is going to change her mind. She has had her plan in place from the very beginning and seems quite sure about our family and our future together.
That leaves ICPC. Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children. In a nut shell it assures that states are working together to make sure that children are going into a safe, healthy environment. No child trafficking between states.
We were told that ICPC clearance can take from 7-10 calendar days. I have heard of situations where it has been as quick as two and as long as thirty.
Here's the deal.
With the lawyer changes and the paperwork snafu in the hospital, our paperwork got ... lost in the shuffle so to speak. Miscommunication between the lawyers in Tennessee and Idaho has not helped. I found out on July 31st, that maybe our paperwork was submitted to the proper offices.
Maybe.
Two weeks after Ethan was born.
When it, theoretically, could have been submitted on Monday the 21st. 10 days ago.
But alas, this did not happen.
God is working. It is His timing and His timing is perfect.
I will step back to the beginning of this week and fill in the details about how we have been waiting.
On Tuesday morning (the 22nd) I called two separate pediatricians to try to get a weight check for little Ethan. Weight gain is our main focus right now. One turned me away cold because Ethan would not be a continuing patient and one set up an appointment for 1:00. But then we got a call to be at the court house by 12:30 for the TPR - Termination of Parental Rights - hearing at the Williamson County courthouse in downtown Nashville.
We wrote down the directions (MayQuest has really been there for us this trip, no GPS for us...) and headed into town. After missing one turn and getting to take a drive by tour of the Tennessee Titans stadium we found where we needed to be and parked in a nearby parking garage.
When we crossed the street we were surprised to see N sitting on a bench in the shade. This is a brave and stoic woman who did not ever want to see us again. And here she was, in our presence, for a third time. She jumped up and gave me a quick hug before we all went into the building together. On the way in she said to me, "I finally got a good night's sleep last night knowing that that baby was with his family and not alone in the hospital!" When going through security she did manage to slip ahead and get to the elevator quickly. Which was a good thing because the women manning the security booth proceeded to swoon over our beautiful, teeny bundle. I can't imagine what that would have been like for her hurting heart.
Up to the 6th floor we went. Julia was going over the termination paper work with N. We tucked ourselves into a side hallway that overlooked part of downtown. That way we weren't in plan sight of N as she signed her rights away. My heart ached as I listened to Julia cover all of the questions and explain every last line of that contract. Watching our sleeping son with joy and love in our hearts and listening to the termination of her mama rights is a dichotomy of emotions that I cannot even begin to explain or express. I think that unless you go through the same thing, (which most adoptive parents do), you can never know that exact feeling.
Time crawled. My back started to hurt. There was no where to sit but on the floor. I didn't want to go into the main hall because I did not want to force N to look at us or our son. The lawyer came and we signed papers. Then she came back and said there were some mistakes and the paperwork had to be reprinted and re-signed.
The 1:00 court time came and went.
2:00.
2:30.
Finally N was able to go in with the judge with Julia by her side.
Then it was our turn.
We took Ethan in in our arms and sat before the judge.
He was very nice and friendly. As are most people in the South we have discovered. He was making small talk and asked us where we are from. When we responded with Lewiston, Idaho he exclaimed, "My former secretary was from Clarkston, Washington! She and her husband lived here for awhile and have since moved back to Clarkston!" The world grew a little bit smaller.
The time with the judge only took a few minutes. I asked if we would be able to get a picture with him. He agreed and led us into his courtroom so it would look a bit more official. His assistant took our picture and we were officially one step closer to legally being Ethan's true parents.
We then had to wait for certified copies of ... whatever document that was. We have signed so many papers the last couple of weeks I am starting to lose track. Everything goes into the big manilla envelope that I brought and stays safe.
Finally, four hours after we arrived we were ready to go. N slipped out without saying goodbye. I think after two exits with the words, "Well, I'm never going to see you again", she didn't want to take any chances. I am okay with that. She is making a great sacrifice and needs to process it in her own way.
The rest of the week was fairly low key. We paid visits to both Ben's and Gail's offices. Ben is the CFO of World Christian Broadcasting and we got to tour their world headquarters located in good old Franklin, Tennessee. Ethan got to have his first picture with Santa Claus!
Gail is CEO of High Hopes, a non-profit inclusive preschool and pediatric therapy clinic. We got to tour their new building that they moved into in January and meet some of their fabulous staff. That we were matched with these loving, generous Christians is a miracle straight from God.
Friday morning we were able to get into the pediatrician that originally turned us down. Gail knows him and was able to contact him directly to get us this one appointment. Connections matter!
A little background on our miracle baby. In initial paperwork that N filled out she put her estimated due date as August 1st. She had an ultra sound on July 9th where they changed her estimated due date to August 20th. Through my three pregnancies I have learned that an ultrasound at 8-10 weeks is the most accurate indication of due date. And that anything over 20 weeks cannot be trusted. With the agency paperwork Ethan was supposedly five weeks early. Born at 35 weeks. His birth weight, 4 lbs. 11 oz. would support that hypothesis. But if you were to see this baby, that can only be wrong.
For starters, after he was born he did not even have to go into the NICU at all. They had him in a transitional NICU area on the delivery room floor because he was having problems self regulating body temperature and because he was supposedly five. weeks. early. From all of the reading I have done, babies born pre-term, and especially boys, usually have lung issues. Severe, undeveloped lungs that require NICU stays and a variety of interventions.
Ethan had none of that.
He was just a little cold.
Which my 7 lb. 11 oz. son Russell had problems with also. At three pounds bigger!
Friday morning Ethan was weighed and tipped the scales at 4 lbs. 15 oz.! An ounce of weight gain a day. Exactly where he was supposed to be. The doctor came in and did a full baby check up. After poking, prodding, listening, measuring, pulling, pushing, and holding he looked at us and declared, "This is NOT pre-term baby! He is just a little guy!"
Looking at our time frame of the two weeks leading up to this day, I can only see God.
See God in our finding out about the situation on the 10th.
The day after her ultrasound.
See God in our match on the 16th.
The day before his birth.
See God in his birth on the 17th. Our 10-year wedding anniversary.
(In June, as we were wading into situation #2 I said to Bob, "How would you like to be celebrating our 10-year anniversary welcoming a son into our family?" Little did we know...)
See God in every. single. step. of this incredible journey.
Writing out our story has been priceless for me this week. Because now I am waiting for another miracle that can only happen by God's hand. Clearance of our ICPC by Friday the 1st so that I can head to Montana to see my parents, my brother and other friends and family that we only get to see once at year, at the very most. And see my three other babies from whom I've been away from for two solid weeks now. If I do not get clearance by the end of business Friday that means that I won't get clearance until at least Monday the 4th. Besides wanting to see everyone I would much rather fly into Bozeman as it would mean only one stop in Salt Lake City and cost about half as much as flying into Lewiston.
So I wait.
I look at all of the miracles that God has provided.
Spend uninterrupted time with my newest son.
Share God's amazing provisions with anyone who is willing to read about them.
Rest in the fact the God's timing is perfect.
My devotional verse today:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
My next post won't be until we are reunited with our entire family and we have a full picture of:
The Wicks Six!
No comments:
Post a Comment