Monday, July 28, 2014

The Journey to Six - Part I

"Jesus said, 'Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.'" Mark 5:19 NKJV

In July of 2000, this one time at band camp, I developed a DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis, i.e.: blood clot) in my left leg. While it turned out okay, it did make Bob and I seek medical advice about child bearing after we were married in 2004. We were given the okay and in 2007 decided we wanted to start growing our family.

Getting pregnant was not going to be as easy as "we'll just see what happens" but had to be planned as I had to be on Lovenox injections every day while we were trying and throughout a pregnancy. Knowing that I may not get pregnant immediately we set a "deadline" of trying for one year. After about a month (of daily injections) I decided that maybe six months of trying would suffice. During this time Matt & Christine Jorgens moved to Lewiston.

With their three adopted boys.

We connected very quickly and the talk of adding children to our family naturally gravitated toward adoption. After three months of injections I decided that I was done with that path and we requested information from many adoptions agencies, selected one and started filling out the paperwork to adopt. In my medicine cupboard at home I had enough injections to go through one more cycle. Considering that we paid $400 out of pocket each month we figured we probably shouldn't waste it! Of course this was the cycle that resulted in our pregnancy with Etta. Looking back at the paperwork that we had completed, I was about half way through the home study packet.

So our thoughts of adoption went to the back burner for the time being.

My pregnancy with Etta was quite uneventful. I was considered "high risk" but it was so uneventful and normal that I got the all clear from my OB and hematologist that future pregnancies would be considered "normal" as long as I was properly medicated and monitored.

Next came Mae. As I held her in my arms just after her birth I felt immense love for her but also knew that our family was not complete. I knew right then that there would be more children added to our family.

Then came Russell. While I was pregnant with each of the girls I craved sweets. With Etta I could have eaten a milk shake every. single. day. But I settled for ice cream. The same thing happened with Mae. But the third time it was different. Sweets made me sick. The heart burn was terrible. All that made me feel better was greasy food. Melted cheese. All things awful for a girl, pregnant or not. Due to my cravings of fast food cheeseburgers and aversion to fresh fruits and veggies I gained about 22 pounds in my first trimester. And then only seven from October 1st to January 1st. (Bob says HE gained more weight than that during that time frame!)

I started having Braxton Hicks contractions the day after Thanksgiving. 14 weeks before my due date. That was just the beginning of the fun. I was so big at this point that people kept congratulating me on my Christmas baby. The look on people's faces was priceless when I said I wasn't due until March! In January I strained some abdominal muscles while carrying bags of baby clothes. In February the contractions started more regularly and stronger. Sometime in February I also pinched my sciatic nerve which made it nearly impossible to walk. 

I know that in the overall scheme of things all of this is nothing compared to what some women go through. But for Bob & I it meant no more pregnancies.

We had started talking about adopting #4 while I was pregnant with Russell. We were feeling strongly called to adopt. To add to our family in this way. Some people reading this will be nodding along right now knowing exactly what I am talking about. But some people will be shaking their heads in disbelief. Of why we would want four children. Of why, when we have three children "of our own", would we want to adopt. But we did. It is our journey and each person is entitled to their own journey.

In early June of 2013 I started to do some research and calling around to different adoption agencies. Things were very similar yet also quite different than six years previous. I had a call into Donna Euhler at Idaho Youth Ranch. It took us all summer to connect. But it just felt right to wait.

I started filling out the home study application in early October. After I began this process God started  making His presence known. A friend sold a bunch of our stuff to start our fundraising process. The amount that we made with the first batch was exactly the right amount of cash that we needed to pay for our fingerprinting. That we had to pay for ... with cash.

Exactly the right amount.

We were also some how already scheduled for all of the doctor's appointments we would need for the medical release forms.

While I was filling out this paperwork I was consumed with a burning desire to get. it. done. To finish it as quickly as I could and get it moved on to the next level. At this point I was simultaneously working on our application for a separate adoption agency. But as soon as I got the home study paperwork filled out I felt zero desire or need to fill out the agency paperwork. Zilch. I actually almost felt repulsion toward the application form.

So we decided to take a different route. At this point we had no idea what that path would look like.

On Thanksgiving Day 2013 I put the finishing touches on and did final edits for our home study packet. I printed it out and got it ready to mail the next day. According to the paperwork, this is the estimated conception date of our son.

The day I finished the home study.

On New Year's Eve I signed Bob & I up to run the Madison Half-Marathon. July 26th, 2014. 13.1 miles all above 9,000 feet in elevation. I was excited. Bob was ... not so much. While I was filling out the registration form it asked if I wanted to purchase the trip insurance. Now, I am a Type A personality. If I am going to do something then I am going to do it. If not, I'm not. I never buy any kind of trip insurance. Ever. But a little voice in my head prompted me to add it on. I went to Bob to see what he thought. We discussed it and figured it wouldn't hurt. And that little voice in my head would not go away.

At this point I had not heard back about scheduling our home study interview. I knew that Christmas/New Year's would be a rough time for any business transactions, but I was hoping that we could at least make contact and get something scheduled. As January trudged by I was slowly but surely getting discouraged and thought that we couldn't possibly get it on the calendar by March or April at this point. But on January 29th Donna called and asked if we would be willing/able to come to Coeur d'Alene to do our interview there as heavy snow was expected in our region. Considering we had to pay an hourly rate plus mileage we decided it would make sense financially to go to her. We got that scheduled for February 5th. She then came down the 7th (after a major snow storm) to do our home walk through. 

And then. Nothing. No word. No papers to fill out. No agency to work with. Nothing. Just waiting.

On February 15th a friend suggested a Face Book page to me. Adoptions West. Katie had gone to school with Tracey and said that she was a great girl. Smart, hardworking, Christian. Just what we were looking for! They had just started their adoption practice and were getting their name out bit by bit. On March 15th we drove to the Spokane Valley and met them for coffee and an interview of sorts. We hit it off right away and it just felt right. At that point we decided to go with independent adoption and work with them.

Soon after Amanda called and said that they were working with an expectant mom that seemed the perfect fit for our family. Baby boy due early in June in Coeur d'Alene. So we needed to get that home study approval. We received the invoice for the home study about one day after we had finally gotten our Idaho state tax refund. Our refund covered the complete cost of the home study, plus just enough left over for that month's utility bills. Again, God provided just what we needed - just when we needed it.

Our official home study approval came on April 4th. The situation that Amanda had called us about did not work out. Yet it really opened our eyes to what the journey was going to be. How painful the situations could be and what an emotional attachment we were going to have to each and every call we received.

The next person that God placed in our lives was Rainy Simpson. A mutual friend of a friend that I "discovered" through pictures of a newborn photo shoot (of a different friend) on Face Book. The husband of a friend works with Rainy's husband. (Did you catch all that? It is really wonky. But beginning to become our new "normal".) The next week she posted on Face Book that a couple of agencies she knew were looking for home study ready families to present immediately to expectant moms.


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