Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Journey to Six - Part IV

"Jesus said, 'Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.'" Mark 5:19 NKJV

I had to trust God because I had nothing left.

 We left the hospital and traveled to Franklin, Tennessee to meet our wonderful host family. Gail had prepared a delicious dinner and our room was ready for us. Gail and Ben are a strong Christian couple and prayed over us before dinner. Their open arms and support were a wonderful comfort during this difficult time. I told Bob that I needed to go to church with them in the morning. (Sunday, July 20th)

 The morning's message at Harpeth Hills Church of Christ was about basking in the joyousness of the Psalms. Finding joy. This message, along with the amazing a cappella four-part harmony that the entire church was singing, was just what Bob and I needed during this time.

 We went home for lunch in our apartment and then headed out to explore Franklin and try to get our minds off of the waiting. We wandered around downtown and then decided to do a tour of the Lotz House. I mean, we are in a totally different state, we love history and since we have had children, museums aren't always that most popular spot to visit. But about half way through the tour I started having severe anxiety. What was I doing on a Civil War history tour?! My son was in the hospital, alone, I had no real idea what was going on or what would happen, my other three children were across the country .... But that was just it. There was nothing I could do. We wrapped up our walk and headed back for a nice Southern Sunday evening family dinner.

 One major miracle that I have not yet addressed is our legal situation. Due to the agency contract and the fact that we were matched within 45 days of the estimated due date, we had to use the agency's full legal. This was one of the hardest parts for Bob and I. We had bonded with Amanda and strongly felt like we were supposed to be using she and Tracey for our legal work. But it was not to be. (And really, with the week that Amanda has had while we are in Tennessee, God knows what He is doing!)

 The agency had a lawyer lined up and ready to go here in Tennessee. But with the early arrival of the little man it was found out that this lawyer was going on vacation and therefore could not take our case. Our agency worker contacted NINE lawyers Saturday morning (the 19th) before finding one that was willing to work with us on such short notice. But by Saturday night she was out too. This finally brought us to the TWELFTH attorney in the situation. But God knew what He was doing there too. She provided so much support for N. Much more than the agency was able to supply. She met with N, took her shopping to help her outfit her new little apartment, went to the apartment with her, drove her to the hospital to sign papers and sat with her for 4+ hours at the court house on surrender day. God knew what N needed and Julia was it.

 Sunday night we got a good, long night of sleep. We woke up much later than normal and were in no real hurry to head out. The plan was to go to downtown Nashville, do more sight seeing and wait for the call from the lawyer about going to the hospital. They were not sure if he was going to be discharged on Monday or not. The main "problem" that he had been having was self-regulating body temperature and had been spending the majority of his time in the Isolette. The one thing that we did know was that N would be there to sign the papers and we would have at least power of attorney and little man would be ours, either in the hospital or discharged. 

 [From Saturday evening to Monday the hospital made it very clear that if something happened to the baby, medically speaking, and they tried contacting N and she did not respond immediately then they would be "forced" to call in CPS due to abandonment. Thankfully God was with him and this scenario did not play out. But it was an added stressor for us.]

 While we were puttering around at the apartment I got a call from the attorney that he would be discharged! Into our care!! N would have to be there for the discharge as she was technically still his  legal guardian, but we would get him immediately.

 This was not going to be happening for a few hours so we loaded up and did head downtown so we would be that much closer to the hospital when the official call came. We felt that having some experience in the town where our son was born would be good and we wanted to scope out some things to do for the next time we visit when the kids are a bit older.

 We wandered around the beautiful Nashville Public Library, had a sack lunch in the courtyard of the Nashville War Memorial Auditorium, and popped into the Tennessee State Capital Building. I had a feeling that we should forego the guided tour and head back to the car to get closer to the hospital. As soon as we turned to head back, the lawyer called. "It's time. You can come to the hospital now!"

 Needless to say we wasted no time in retrieving our car and driving to St. Thomas Midtown.

 We headed into the maternity floor and stationed ourselves at the doors of the waiting room. After what seemed to be an eternity a woman entered and asked, "Are you Bob and Emily? Come and get your son."

 We tentatively walked down the hall. I was suddenly shy and felt like I was intruding on someone else's private joyous moment.

 But N was upbeat, seemed happy to see us and was still very secure in her decision to place him with us. She still had her hospital bracelet on. From the week before. When it became time to go she asked Bob to cut it off as he had not been able to be present to cut the baby's umbilical cord. It was a touching gesture and moment. She was then offering veteran mom advice to me and also some tips about how to care for African American hair and skin. 

 Then, in a whirl, he was ours.

 Ethan Von Wicks
7/17/14
4 lbs. 11 oz.
(birth weight and discharge weight)
17.5 inches long

 We loaded him into a borrowed infant car seat, in a steal-of-a-deal rented car and drove back to our miracle accommodations with the 6th Wicks. 

 As we left the parking garage we drove under a huge depiction of the St. Thomas Midtown slogan:

 "For nothing will be impossible with God." Luke 1:37

This wraps up the story quite neatly and happily.

 But.

 Now we were on to the next steps in the process.

 Clearance for ICPC to go home to Idaho. And for N's revocation period to expire.

 Time to wait.
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Journey to Six - Part III

"Jesus said, 'Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.'" Mark 5:19 NKJV

After a final hug it was time. Time to meet the little man.

 On our way by the nurses station I asked the nurse about the wrist bands. Let her know that N was very adamant that we get them. Soon. So that we could be with our son.

 She reassured me that they were already done. To go back to our assigned room (we got our very own room!) and wait for some one to bring them in.

 So we did. We went back. Sat down. And waited.

 And waited.

 And waited.

 We were directly across the hall from the nursery. The glass-walled nursery. Where there were three babies bundled and waiting. One of them was our baby. Our son.

 Ten minutes passed.

 Ten more.

 I told Bob, "I know that the nurses are busy but .... we have come this far and waited so long. He needs me!"

 I finally went out in the hall and stood by the glass, gazing at the babies inside. I made eyes at every nurse who passed - hoping, praying, that just one would ask what I needed.

 Finally the original nurse who had been at the nurses station noticed me and said, "Haven't they been by yet?"

 Um, NO!

 "Just a minute, I'll go get someone."

 And she did. The nurse with the bands came out and put them around our wrists. She led us into the nursery with a comment thrown out, "We don't have all the right paperwork yet, so until we do you are only allowed to see him in the nursery area".

 Who cares?! I just wanted to see him and hold him.

 She wheeled the bassinet over to us and said, "Meet your son!"

 I can't even begin to describe the feelings that washed over me. 

 Love. Heart ache. Disbelief. Sadness. Happiness. Joy. Pain. Sorrow. Amazement.

 Here was this little man. This tiny human whom I found out existed only one week before. And he was now ours. When you are pregnant and you go to the hospital for delivery it is a miracle. One second there are X amount of people in the room. In the next second there are X + 1. But when you are pregnant you are aware that this someone is with you. Has been with you. Will be there with you. Adoption is different. Some people are matched with an expectant mom months before delivery. Sometimes as early as eight weeks into the pregnancy. But others are within only days. Some post-birth. The emotional roller coaster continues through it all.

 I lifted him out of the bassinet and cuddled him in my arms. At this point he was 44 hours old and weighed 4 lbs. 7 oz. I began speaking to him and he opened his eyes and looked right. at. me. With a focused look. Bob murmured something by my side and this baby, who was supposedly five weeks early, turned his head and looked right. at. Bob. No hesitation. No wandering, unfocused eyes. But intensity. It took my breath away.

 He was ours.

 The nurse mentioned that it was feeding time and would I like to give him his bottle. Yes please! She added that he was a very slow eater, was barely getting one ounce of formula down at a time and was spitting a lot of that up. I tucked him into my arm, took the bottle and gave it to him. He quickly drank both ounces and did not spit up any formula at all! He just needed his mommy to give him his bottle.

 It was about 1:00 p.m. CST at this point and neither Bob nor I had had anything to eat since 9:30 p.m. PST the night before. We discussed taking turns going down to the cafeteria, going together, not eating... Bob did want to hold him a bit so I handed him over to his daddy. Bob worked his magic and had that little man asleep in no time. They just cuddled for awhile.

 At this point I was not sure if I was supposed to take any pictures. But I wanted to, needed to, send a pic to his siblings back at home so that they could see their new brother. So I snuck one with my cell phone when no one was looking.

The nurse came back in and we discussed grabbing some food. It was almost two o'clock by this time. She said that we should as he would sleep for awhile and we needed to keep our energy up. That we should catch a nap too.

 We headed downstairs to the cafeteria where we experienced our first "meat and three" meal. Fried chicken, green beans, potato wedges and a roll. We are being exposed to a different culture here in Tennessee! 

 It was nice to sit and eat. Talk a bit about how we were feeling and just relax, decompress. After we finished we headed back up to the nursery floor. Bob rested on the couch in the room and I decided to try to update FB in the family waiting room on my Kindle. The Wifi wouldn't work. I didn't have the code. There wasn't supposed to be a code. I have no idea. But it wouldn't work.

 That was the straw that broke the camels back. I was exhausted. Away from home. Not allowed to bring my baby into my room. Now not even able to connect with my friends and family half a country away. I lost it and sobbed and sobbed. Until I finally fell into an uncomfortable sleep for a bit. After letting Bob have an hour of uninterrupted nap time I went back to the room. The next feeding was not for another 30 minutes so I tried to connect with our lap top. It worked. My anxiety was starting to amp up again. Bob got on the computer and went to Biblegateway.com. The daily verse that popped up on their home screen was:

 "Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

 This was also the same verse that I read and prayed over on July 9th. The day before we found out about this situation.

 Bob tapped me on the shoulder and had me read it. Peace washed over me. Everything was going to be okay.

 At about 3:30 I headed back out so that I could give him his next bottle. The nurses let us in and I settled in the rocking chair with him. Again, he took the whole bottle with no problems. No spit up. Without delay.

 About half way through Kimberly showed up with the car seat. My dad called. I was in the nursery so Bob went out to talk to her - meet her for the very first time - and to get the car seat.

 Soon after our agency worker called.

 She informed me that N had not signed any of the paperwork before she was discharged.

 At noon.

 Some how an oversight had occurred. She had not signed, we were not supposed to have the bracelets, not supposed to be in the nursery. Legally, the hospital was required to call the DHHS and report this baby abandoned.

 ...

 This baby.

 Our son.

 Abandoned.

 ...

 She went on to say that she had been working for the last 90 minutes with the hospital trying to figure out what had happened and what would happen next. The 90 minutes that I had spent eating and crying and worrying about not having my baby in the room with me over night. The 90 minutes I had wasted on feeling sorry for ME and not holding my baby close.

 She had convinced them that we had come all this way, that the adoption plan was in place, he was not abandoned and that the mistake was THEIRS. Not ours. They agreed not to call CPS but did tell our agency worker that they would take our bands away and we would not be allowed to even see him - SEE HIM - until everything was straightened out.

 On Monday.

 Maybe.

 I hung up my phone and was in shock. I quickly started talking to him, telling him how much we loved him, how we were going to have to leave but that we would be back. We would be back and then we would never leave him again. That he would be ours forever and ever. That his sisters and brother were waiting for him at home and he would be there with us. I spoke quickly and quietly and then could hear the nurse in the other room on the phone. I knew that they were talking about us.

 She came to the door.

 Tears were in her eyes.

 "I'm sorry."

 NO!

 "I'm so sorry that this mistake was made."

 NO!

 "But I need to remove your bands and you will have to leave the hospital."

 NO!

 I was in shock as I looked back and forth between her and my baby.

 This baby who had already lost one mother in his first 48 hours of life and was about to lose another.

 Dry-eyed I gently handed him back to her and turned away.

 I gave my baby back.

 We quietly went back into "our" room to retrieve our things.

 My heart was ripped from my chest and I started sobbing into Bob's. We waited for a few minutes so that I could compose myself and we left the hospital. With an empty car seat.

 Not knowing if we were even going to be able to adopt this baby.

 This is the stuff that adoption horror stories are made of. The "I have a friend, who had a sister, who knew somebody that worked with someone that had a cousin whose sister was going to adopt and ...." story that make people sigh, shake their heads and say, "Well, it is adoption you know".

 Thankfully I have a bigger God. A God who moves mountains and performs miracle. A God who sent me the following verses through my daily devotionals on the days leading up to this very day:

 July 9th: "Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

 July 10th: "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

 July 11th: "Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You." Jeremiah 32:17

 July 12th: "And He said, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

 July 14th: "They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD." Psalm 112:7

 July 15th: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor the flame scorch you." Isaiah 43:2

 July 17th: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

 These were the verses given to me leading up to us meeting our son. I had to trust God because I had nothing left.
Posted by at 2 comments:

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Journey to Six - Part II

"Jesus said, 'Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.'" Mark 5:19 NKJV

Cue the roller coaster.

 Situation #1: We were presented to an expectant mom on June 13th and found out we were not selected on June 20th.

 Situation #2: We started pursuing on June 27th and it was cut short due to a match on July 1st.

 Situation #3: We found out about the situation on July 10th. We knew that it was a baby boy in Tennessee due on August 20th. On July 11th we decided that we wanted to move forward and got all of our paperwork sent in that afternoon. (A Friday of course. If you check the above dates they are ALL Fridays.)

 On Saturday morning I got up to make breakfast as is our routine. I turned on my Pandora and the very first song that played was "Nashville" by Jenny & Tyler. Right then I knew. I knew that this would be our baby and that he would be born in Nashville, TN.

once upon a time I met you
didn't know it then but we would
journey to a land so far away
hadn't even said I do's yet
didn't quite know just what love meant
I packed my bags and I got on a plane

I was so scared to make my mind up
but God said it was time for
me to make my way in the world
this little girl

I found love in Tennessee
I learned that love is good for me
I learned to love in Tennessee
Nashville Tennessee

every night a different venue
every fight I knew I loved you
more than I had the night before

 I found love in Tennessee
I learned that love is good for me
I learned to love in Tennessee
Nashville Tennessee

he's perfect for me 

We were supposed to be presented to the expectant mom on Monday, July 14th. For whatever reason we were not and were told that "maybe it would happen Tuesday ... or Wednesday". Bob had already suggested that we go camping Tuesday and Wednesday. At that point I really did not want to be away from Internet and phone service while there was a strong possibility that the expectant mom would be contacted and we would be far away from technology. But some friends suggested it would be a very good trip for me and for our family. So we loaded up Tuesday morning and went camping. We had spotty cell service so I did know that the agency worker had not contacted us. We got home Wednesday late afternoon and I immediately got on my email AND ....

 nothing.

 Nothing at all. Talk about anti-climactic.

 So I texted the agency worker. A few minutes later she called me and said, "Didn't you get my email?" Between checking my email and texting her she had sent me an email that said we had been selected by the expectant mom to be this baby's family! All very exciting news. The next step was to complete even more paper work and round up the money needed to pay the agency fees.

 Thursday morning (the 17th, our 10-year wedding anniversary) I headed down to our local State Farm office to find out about money we had saved up through our Roth IRA retirement accounts. We got everything taken care of and the money would be available on Monday the 21st. Just when we needed it. Then Bob, Etta & I had eye appointments and Etta had a play date for the afternoon.

 At 5:13 p.m. we got The Call. It was the agency worker. "N had her baby today! This afternoon!! How soon can you get to Nashville?"

 Nashville. Tennessee.

 Uh, what? Not August 20th?!

 My devotional from Thursday morning was:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Then the chaos started. The money that we needed to complete the adoption would be needed by Friday. The very next day. Our money was out in the Internet, unavailable to us. I frantically made phones calls to see if any. one. we. knew. had a liquid $20,000 just "laying around" that we could "borrow" until our funds came through on Monday. Door after door was shut in my face.

 But I knew that God was working. That this was the baby that He had in mind for us. So I tried to be faithful and step by step follow His commands. I booked flights for Friday afternoon.

 Not knowing if we were even going to be able to go and adopt this baby.

 I rented a car.

 Not knowing if we were even going to be able to go and adopt this baby.

 I went to bed.

 Not knowing if we were even going to be able to go and adopt this baby.

 I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and knew that there would be no more sleeping for me. So I got up, did my daily devotional and prayer, did our monthly banking (it was payday) and ate a tiny bit of breakfast. Those four hours until the bank opened were the longest four hours of my life. Friends came over, phone calls were made, I waited, waited, waited. The kids were pretty subdued knowing that the baby had been born but not really understanding what that meant.

 At about 9:30 I went to our local bank to see if the needed funds had appeared in our account over night.

 They had not.

 And the hope inside of me died.

 This was it. God had gotten us this far and then He was shutting the door. There was nothing the any man could do that could get us to this baby.

 Thankfully God is not a man.

 He is good. He is God. He can do all things.

 As I was explaining the story to the branch manager and what avenues of financing I had desperately tried to come up with myself, her wheels were turning and she presented me with the solution. I am not going to share all of the details here but I will say that I walked out of that bank with $8,000 in cash. Exactly the amount that I needed to complete the requirements of the day.

 Exactly the amount that we needed.

 She also figured out how I could complete the transaction without wiring the money and incurring a wire fee. She is amazing.

 With the money portion taken care of I went home to pack for two + weeks away from home and to prepare myself from being away from my three children for that same amount of time.

 Meanwhile, from Thursday afternoon to Friday afternoon, Amanda was making calls and finding connections in Tennessee. (Please keep in mind that at this point she is not our legal counsel. She is "just" a fellow adoptive mom with some real kick butt connections and extreme knowledge of both adoption law and the adoption process.) Overnight she is able to find us a place to stay just outside of Nashville. The parents of a friend that she went to law school with.

 People who had just moved into a new house about a month before.

 A house with a studio apartment over their garage.

 That they were hoping to be able to use for ministry purposes.

 Um, thank you God. Thank you for a beautiful space that would not cost $100+ a night for at least 13 nights. For people who were willing to open their home and hearts to strangers from across the country. To accept us as family and do everything in their power to help us during this time. Well, there was one drawback. We would have to sleep on a hide-a-bed couch. For us that was not a deal breaker of course. And we were pleasantly (to put it mildly) surprised to find out that they purchased and had delivered a king size bed for us that Saturday the 19th. To say that this is a true blessing does not do the situation justice.

 Another glitch that we ran in to was the fact that we did not have an infant car seat that was not "expired". (Car seats go bad, did you know that?) I decided that they best thing to do would be to just buy one when we got to Nashville. But again, we were blown away when Amanda's friend had an infant car seat that we could use. She and her husband went - on Saturday - and bought a new carseat for their little girl who just turned one. The blessings kept on rolling in.

 Friday afternoon at 3:50 p.m. we got on a plane in Lewiston, ID and flew to Boise. And then to Seattle, WA. And then to Charlotte, NC. And finally landing in Nashville, TN on Saturday morning at 8:20 a.m.

 When the situation first arose the expectant mom did not want to meet or even talk to the family that her baby was going to grow up with. She felt that the forever family was going to be just that. The forever family. I prayed that she would at least want to meet with us initially.
When we were in the Seattle airport we got a call from the agency worker that N wanted to meet with us before we went to see the baby.

She wanted to meet with us. Talk to us. Know who her baby was going to be with forever.

I had not gotten her a little gift because I did not think we would ever see her. But I went into one of the airport shops and found a mug with two little birds and a heart that proclaimed:

"You are loved"

Because she is loved and will be loved forever for the ultimate sacrifice that she was making for our family.

After we touched down and got our bag we went straight to the car rental counter. Bob had printed off our receipt for the online agreement that I had made through Costco.com so I laid it down on the counter not knowing what else to do. We have never rented a car before. The man took it (coincidentally, on Monday we saw this same man at the Nashville public library in downtown Nashville!), put the numbers into the computer and promptly told us that it would be over $800 to rent the car for 13 days. But .... Costco had quoted me $588. Since it was a difference of almost $300 he sent us out to the manager. He also put the numbers in and came up with ... $800+ dollars. After doing some looking he discovered that Costco.com had MADE A MISTAKE. The Internet had MADE A MISTAKE. In our favor. He worked some manager magic, on a secret screen that the worker next to him had never even seen, and rented us a car for $581.

 Thank you God. 

 From there we went straight to the hospital. When we first got to the hospital a huge billboard on the side proclaimed:

"For nothing will be impossible with God." Luke 1:37

 I was a nervous wreck by this time. It was around 10:30 a.m. and we had not eaten anything since our small dinner in Seattle the night before. We freshened up as much as we could in the hospital bathrooms and headed to the seventh floor to meet the mother of our baby.

 The meeting was indescribable. There were tears, laughter, hugging, advice, questions, answers. What do you say to someone who is giving you a baby? A son? Letting go of a person that grew in her body for nine months? We felt a connection with her. She seemed to love us and essentially gave us her blessing. She was to be discharged soon and was raring to get out of there. She knew that we would need hospital bracelets to see and hold the baby and was adamant that we get them right away. As she absentmindedly picked at her own I felt like she wanted to take it off and give it to me as my own. While I presented her with the gift we had brought she noticed the camera that I handed to Bob. "Do you want to get a picture?" she asked. Bob was able to get two pictures of, in her words, "The two new mamas". This is a gift from her that I will cherish forever. 

 After a final hug it was time. Time to meet the little man.

Posted by at No comments:

Monday, July 28, 2014

The Journey to Six - Part I

"Jesus said, 'Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you.'" Mark 5:19 NKJV

In July of 2000, this one time at band camp, I developed a DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis, i.e.: blood clot) in my left leg. While it turned out okay, it did make Bob and I seek medical advice about child bearing after we were married in 2004. We were given the okay and in 2007 decided we wanted to start growing our family.

Getting pregnant was not going to be as easy as "we'll just see what happens" but had to be planned as I had to be on Lovenox injections every day while we were trying and throughout a pregnancy. Knowing that I may not get pregnant immediately we set a "deadline" of trying for one year. After about a month (of daily injections) I decided that maybe six months of trying would suffice. During this time Matt & Christine Jorgens moved to Lewiston.

With their three adopted boys.

We connected very quickly and the talk of adding children to our family naturally gravitated toward adoption. After three months of injections I decided that I was done with that path and we requested information from many adoptions agencies, selected one and started filling out the paperwork to adopt. In my medicine cupboard at home I had enough injections to go through one more cycle. Considering that we paid $400 out of pocket each month we figured we probably shouldn't waste it! Of course this was the cycle that resulted in our pregnancy with Etta. Looking back at the paperwork that we had completed, I was about half way through the home study packet.

So our thoughts of adoption went to the back burner for the time being.

My pregnancy with Etta was quite uneventful. I was considered "high risk" but it was so uneventful and normal that I got the all clear from my OB and hematologist that future pregnancies would be considered "normal" as long as I was properly medicated and monitored.

Next came Mae. As I held her in my arms just after her birth I felt immense love for her but also knew that our family was not complete. I knew right then that there would be more children added to our family.

Then came Russell. While I was pregnant with each of the girls I craved sweets. With Etta I could have eaten a milk shake every. single. day. But I settled for ice cream. The same thing happened with Mae. But the third time it was different. Sweets made me sick. The heart burn was terrible. All that made me feel better was greasy food. Melted cheese. All things awful for a girl, pregnant or not. Due to my cravings of fast food cheeseburgers and aversion to fresh fruits and veggies I gained about 22 pounds in my first trimester. And then only seven from October 1st to January 1st. (Bob says HE gained more weight than that during that time frame!)

I started having Braxton Hicks contractions the day after Thanksgiving. 14 weeks before my due date. That was just the beginning of the fun. I was so big at this point that people kept congratulating me on my Christmas baby. The look on people's faces was priceless when I said I wasn't due until March! In January I strained some abdominal muscles while carrying bags of baby clothes. In February the contractions started more regularly and stronger. Sometime in February I also pinched my sciatic nerve which made it nearly impossible to walk. 

I know that in the overall scheme of things all of this is nothing compared to what some women go through. But for Bob & I it meant no more pregnancies.

We had started talking about adopting #4 while I was pregnant with Russell. We were feeling strongly called to adopt. To add to our family in this way. Some people reading this will be nodding along right now knowing exactly what I am talking about. But some people will be shaking their heads in disbelief. Of why we would want four children. Of why, when we have three children "of our own", would we want to adopt. But we did. It is our journey and each person is entitled to their own journey.

In early June of 2013 I started to do some research and calling around to different adoption agencies. Things were very similar yet also quite different than six years previous. I had a call into Donna Euhler at Idaho Youth Ranch. It took us all summer to connect. But it just felt right to wait.

I started filling out the home study application in early October. After I began this process God started  making His presence known. A friend sold a bunch of our stuff to start our fundraising process. The amount that we made with the first batch was exactly the right amount of cash that we needed to pay for our fingerprinting. That we had to pay for ... with cash.

Exactly the right amount.

We were also some how already scheduled for all of the doctor's appointments we would need for the medical release forms.

While I was filling out this paperwork I was consumed with a burning desire to get. it. done. To finish it as quickly as I could and get it moved on to the next level. At this point I was simultaneously working on our application for a separate adoption agency. But as soon as I got the home study paperwork filled out I felt zero desire or need to fill out the agency paperwork. Zilch. I actually almost felt repulsion toward the application form.

So we decided to take a different route. At this point we had no idea what that path would look like.

On Thanksgiving Day 2013 I put the finishing touches on and did final edits for our home study packet. I printed it out and got it ready to mail the next day. According to the paperwork, this is the estimated conception date of our son.

The day I finished the home study.

On New Year's Eve I signed Bob & I up to run the Madison Half-Marathon. July 26th, 2014. 13.1 miles all above 9,000 feet in elevation. I was excited. Bob was ... not so much. While I was filling out the registration form it asked if I wanted to purchase the trip insurance. Now, I am a Type A personality. If I am going to do something then I am going to do it. If not, I'm not. I never buy any kind of trip insurance. Ever. But a little voice in my head prompted me to add it on. I went to Bob to see what he thought. We discussed it and figured it wouldn't hurt. And that little voice in my head would not go away.

At this point I had not heard back about scheduling our home study interview. I knew that Christmas/New Year's would be a rough time for any business transactions, but I was hoping that we could at least make contact and get something scheduled. As January trudged by I was slowly but surely getting discouraged and thought that we couldn't possibly get it on the calendar by March or April at this point. But on January 29th Donna called and asked if we would be willing/able to come to Coeur d'Alene to do our interview there as heavy snow was expected in our region. Considering we had to pay an hourly rate plus mileage we decided it would make sense financially to go to her. We got that scheduled for February 5th. She then came down the 7th (after a major snow storm) to do our home walk through. 

And then. Nothing. No word. No papers to fill out. No agency to work with. Nothing. Just waiting.

On February 15th a friend suggested a Face Book page to me. Adoptions West. Katie had gone to school with Tracey and said that she was a great girl. Smart, hardworking, Christian. Just what we were looking for! They had just started their adoption practice and were getting their name out bit by bit. On March 15th we drove to the Spokane Valley and met them for coffee and an interview of sorts. We hit it off right away and it just felt right. At that point we decided to go with independent adoption and work with them.

Soon after Amanda called and said that they were working with an expectant mom that seemed the perfect fit for our family. Baby boy due early in June in Coeur d'Alene. So we needed to get that home study approval. We received the invoice for the home study about one day after we had finally gotten our Idaho state tax refund. Our refund covered the complete cost of the home study, plus just enough left over for that month's utility bills. Again, God provided just what we needed - just when we needed it.

Our official home study approval came on April 4th. The situation that Amanda had called us about did not work out. Yet it really opened our eyes to what the journey was going to be. How painful the situations could be and what an emotional attachment we were going to have to each and every call we received.

The next person that God placed in our lives was Rainy Simpson. A mutual friend of a friend that I "discovered" through pictures of a newborn photo shoot (of a different friend) on Face Book. The husband of a friend works with Rainy's husband. (Did you catch all that? It is really wonky. But beginning to become our new "normal".) The next week she posted on Face Book that a couple of agencies she knew were looking for home study ready families to present immediately to expectant moms.


Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)